I wannas sexs uuuuu
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
