So gin and wine won't be happening again
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
