some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize