Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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