There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize