batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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