hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
