You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
