He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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