omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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