Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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