Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
