Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
