If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
