I only kidnapped one of them. chill
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it glows. i had to have it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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