I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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