I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
