Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
