Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
