The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
