There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
