How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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