Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize