He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
