He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
