My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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