when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize