He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
