Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
