That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
