I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I want to fling myself into the sun
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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