I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
