I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
