I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I AM VODKA MAN
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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