I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
