Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
a search helicopter?!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
