How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You can't motorboat a personality
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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