***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
