They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
