I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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