true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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