i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize