I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
