I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize