i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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