No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
