can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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