Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
