Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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