she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
