No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's never too late to be topless.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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