I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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