is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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