i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize