What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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