This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you didnt know i had herpes?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
