Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
