I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
